Insomnia

18. September 2011 here now 6

Track 1) The brain is grooved. It is like the needle won’t lift and go to the next track.

Track 2) Will H. even recognize record players? I remember the smell of my father’s LPs in the credenza in the living room. Like old books, but sweeter. Chopin and Hair the Musical and all of The Beatles.

Track 3) I have seen at least three people wearing purses printed with tape deck boom boxes. At least two of these people looked far too young to remember tape deck boom boxes.

Track 4) K.’s car, in high school. That terrible boom box that only worked if you cradled it like a baby. Even then the volume was never high enough. The Hot Mix and The Cool Mix that T. made. We listened to those tapes until they wore out.

Track 5) I have forgotten how to sleep. I will never sleep again. Instead, I will always be exhausted. The letters will always be too blurred for me to read. I will always be here, unable to stop thinking about nostalgia and musical technology.

Track 6) Is it raining?

Track 7) Is there someone in the house?

Track 8 ) Why did I even read those articles about the Petit family murders? What good does it do those people in Connecticut for me to know how their world was destroyed? The news articles gave me no deeper understanding of the Existence of Evil.

Track 9) I read those articles because of jury duty. That woman, lecturing about postponement and medical excuses. I read the news on my phone. Horror and human depravity, entering my brain through a four-inch computer.

Track 10) There is someone in the house. I will fight back. I took that self-defense class. All those martial arts. I don’t fear pain. All I have to do is make sure he can’t get to H. I can lock this door from the inside, pull it closed. Phone is on the desk. Defend the door.

Track 11) Bring it, Intruder!

Track 12) It is raining.

Track 13) Discuss: Drink names make good band names. Fighting Words. Aviation. The Molly Ringwald. The band names of people I know: San Simeon Par Funk. The Cassandras. Captain Automatic. My band, for about two seconds in the nineties: Girl Friday. I was a reporter then. What’s my band name now? Rehearsing for Conversations That Will Never Happen. Too long.

Track 14) Maybe I should read that book about Sea Goat and Little Bear with the gi-normous merman. Always puts me to sleep when I read it to H.

Track 15) That spoof of a children’s book: Go The F*&k To Sleep.

Track 15) Band name: The John Hughes Recovery Orchestra. Album title for my brain: Go The F*&k To Sleep. 


6 thoughts on “Insomnia”

  • 1
    Carol Adair on Facebook on September 19, 2011

    i love this – i’m right there with you.

  • 2
    Leigh Bardugo on September 25, 2011

    Hit your intruder over the head with a boom box. Kill two birds with one hipster stone.

  • 3
    Tsilli Pines on September 26, 2011

    Will kids these days even know from mixtapes? Playlists are just not the same.

  • 4
    Laurie on September 27, 2011

    I have a similar connection to the smell of records. For me, West Side Story. Do you think the boom box wearers will buy my new fragrance, Scent of LP?

  • 5
    Erin on September 28, 2011

    My dear! Jesse N posted your blog in FB the other day, and I’ve just caught myself up. I had no idea you were blogging, but am so happy to be reading your writing again. We seem to have some similar troubles with IKEA

    Love this post, especially. Looking forward to reading more and hope all else is well with H, P, and life in Los Angeles.

  • 6
    kuang on October 2, 2011

    This is a lovely blog entry, and that is an excellent band name. Snatch it up!

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