Scratch that.

25. May 2011 here now 0
Yesterday, I read the Louis Menand article in The New Yorker about Sartre and Beauvoir.  It ends with this line: Though her affairs, for the most part, were love affairs, it is plain from almost every page she wrote that she would have given them all up if she could have had Sartre for herself ...

Dear Feminism,

23. May 2011 here now 2
When I was fifteen, I hung a poster from a pro-choice rally on the door to my room. That positioned it in our hallway. It was visible from just to the left of the front door as you stepped into the house, inescapable for anyone coming up the stairs. The image was a bold grey, ...

Part III: Billy Joel Epilogue

20. May 2011 here now 4
Since that night, Annette Roque and Matt Lauer have had three children. During her last pregnancy in 2006, Annette filed for divorce. But then she took it back. They went through counseling. This is all public record—I never spoke to them again. In 2010, the tabloids published more rumors of an affair and a split. ...

Part II: New Jersey

19. May 2011 here now 2
Always complain! Can you imagine? We walked to the Met. I remember realizing that my dress was all wrong. It had gauzy red sheathing. Annette was wrapped in soft layers of black and blue. She looked sophisticated and I looked like I had missed the prom. A New York City prom, maybe. But a prom. ...

Part I: “Always Complain”

18. May 2011 here now 8
When I was in my twenties, the international director of business development for Playboy magazine wanted into my pants. I met him at a press conference that I was covering for the paper. I didn’t think we had much in common. But then I got my heart broken, big time—a loss that defined me for ...

Watermelon Rapture

17. May 2011 here now 1
I sit in a visual studies conference and listen to smart people discuss Hitchcock and I think about the Rapture. “This paper does not address the deep irrationality of private life.” I got an invitation to post-Rapture looting on Facebook. As in, looting on May 21 after the chosen get taken. I’ll be there! I ...

Dear A.,

16. May 2011 here now 3
We got a thin envelope addressed to you and labeled “Criminal Subpoena.” I have so many questions. First, have you really not filed a change of address form with the post office yet? It’s not that hard. Did you do something criminal? Or do you just have to testify? What did your ex-husband play on the ...

Firefighter Appreciation Day

15. May 2011 here now 0
$1 tacos, a salsa quartet, tables and folding chairs. Four gleaming fire trucks, parked, open for the kids to climb on. Weight lifting equipment cordoned off with Fire Line Do Not Cross and surrounded with potted asparagus ferns. One man with black plastic glasses and a “Mullet, it’s 2 haircuts in 1!” t-shirt was with ...

For Friday the 13th

13. May 2011 here now 0
I wish for ten days of zazen medition at Green Gulch in Muir Beach, more than ten days, I wish to shave my head and wear their dark robes and chew their black kale and feel if not enlightenment then peace. Lasting peace. Or maybe I wish for new clothes...