13. May 2011 here now 0
May 12, 2011 In the + column:
- I find my sunglasses and two dollars—enough to buy coffee—buried in the front seat of my car. I have coffee and sunglasses on the train!
- K-9 security and the Wraparound Sunglasses Guy at the coffee stand try to hit on me.
- Harper, to Peter, this morning: “I’m sorry that you had a plant growing in your nose.”
- “What color is the plant?” “It’s red and white and grey.”
- Instead of grading on the train, I compile a list of All Time Most Embarrassing Emails that I Have Sent.
- New York, circa 1997. I met a guy at a party, one of those parties where you talk by yelling with your back pressed up against the wall in a dark hallway. He was so tall, he spilled beer on my head when he leaned in to listen. He said, “I want to go to Oslo.” Why? “I just want to go somewhere clean and cold.” He asked me out for coffee. I tried to act casual. But when I wrote him email, I included a picture of Akershus Slott. Silence. I am disgusting, I am too much, I thought. My instincts are always wrong. But now I like the fact that I sent the picture: Oslo, clean and cold.
- Here is an email I wrote. No salutation, just a quote from Hakluyt’s Northwest Passage, “We still sail northward, among sheets of ice, whose boundaries are not beyond our vision from the masthead–these are ‘floes;’ between them we find easy way, it is fair ‘sailing ice.’ In the clear sky to the north a streak of lucid white light is the reflection from an icy surface; that is, ‘ice-blink,’ in the language of these seas. The glare from snow is yellow, while open water gives a dark reflection.”
- I didn’t send that one.
- My face feels like puffed rice.
- I put K-9 security and Wraparound Sunglasses in the “plus” column?!
- An email this morning on my Silver Lake Moms’ listserv: “Need a nanny? We have a lovely nanny who needs work! She’s a PhD student!” Like me! I am a PhD student. And a mom. I pay other people to care for my child.
- Harper woke me from an anxiety dream about grad school, last night. In it, my professor sang a show tune.
- In the list of embarrassing emails, Oslo is just the beginning.
- What do I expect in return?